Journals50
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Sorry!
1 min read
I've not been very active lately, I've had a huge art block and what art I do manage I feel too self-conscious about to actually post ;-;
I do post a bit more of it on tumblr, so if you'd like to know my tumblr send a note.
I'll try to post a bit more but I'm still not in a great place right now.
I do post a bit more of it on tumblr, so if you'd like to know my tumblr send a note.
I'll try to post a bit more but I'm still not in a great place right now.
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Heck
15 min read
Done did get tagged by 
Some questions that are bothersome have been removed.
1. First thing's first. What's your name?
Zin! If you think you know another name you're probably wrong.
2. How about your age?
Started to get a lil uncomfy about this but if that concerns you, send a note
3. Gender?
there isn't one that applies well enough
4. Birthday?
January the 19th
5. Height?
When last checked it was just over 1.6m
6. Weight?
61.8kg
7. Zodiac sign?
Capricorn, not that that even means anything
8. Birthstone?
Garnet
:bademoticon: 
:bademoticon:
9. Heritage?
Honestly there's too much and tiredness is overwhelming.
Personal qualitative section.
1. Eye colour?
Dark brown
2. Hair colour/style. Is it your natural hair?
Dark brown straight hair in a badly-kept asymmetrical bob-type cut. It is natural and it will stay natural.
3. Current fitness?
Not great since the depression kicked in
4. Skin tone?
Olive-y. Paler now, in the winter.
"Romance" Section.
1. What's your sexuality?
Pansexual, aromantic and (although it's not exactly an orientation) polyamorous
2. Current relationship status?
Single, unfortunately
3. How many relationships have you been in? And could you give a brief description of them?
Only one ever, and it was. Bad.
4. What is your favourite feature of your preferred gender?
no idea
5. If you aren't in a relationship then do you have a crush on someone?
like,,, at least 3 people. I tend to get crushes on mates my age or a little older frequently, which is part of the reason flirtation is a part of my humour even with friends I'm not interested in.
Seven Deadly Sins Section.
1. Would you be considered a glutton?
Hell no
2. A sloth?
Mental illness so yeah I would be
3. Lustful?
Never acted on it, but I mean, kind of?
4. Envious?
Nope
5. Wrathful?
naahhhh
6. Greedy?
HELL NO
7. Prideful?
HELL NO
Education Section.
1. Are you still in school?
I'm still fulfilling education requirements but I don't physically go to school at this point
2. Your best subject in school?
English (lit)
3. Worst subject in school?
Sports. I never was good at sports and my guess is that I never will be particularly good at it.
4. Did you drop out of school?
...Kinda.
Family Section.
1. Describe your relationship with your parents.
Well mum is supportive and we have similar interests.
Dad is nice and we work better in conversations typically, but I don't see him much because his wife makes me paranoid and the living space he occupies is not ideal for me.
2. Relationship with your siblings?
I hate my younger sister. She is incredibly obnoxious and I only work with her when I have something to gain from it. She is verbally and physically abusive.
I love my little bro, though. We mesh better and have more similar interests, but he's not very mindful of the disrespect to minorities. I don't see him much because he lives with my dad.
3. With your family in general?
It's not bad, and I do love them I guess I'm just not good at doing what's expected.
Life Section.
1. Do you have a lot of friends?
NOPE. I have one best friend, (idk if they consider me theirs tho) and two decently close friends. Only one irl.
2. Would you consider yourself a loner?
Crowds make me nervous, so I prefer to be with one or two people if any, so yeah I guess so.
3. Describe your style of clothing.
Comfy and basic, but not unfashionable
1. Do you have a religion?
Nope
2. Do you believe in God or a form of intelligent design?
Well there's a good chance this whole thing is a simulation but apart from that no
3. Do people need to live by morals or just live to have fun?
We're a social species and morals benefit the group far better than hedonism. You can have more than enough fun ethically and morally. Don't mess people up on purpose, respect privacy, respect ownership (if applicable), kill all rapists and pedophiles.
4. Briefly describe your most important beliefs/moral standards.
Help who you can, lift up instead of bring down, respect others, sexual assault and pedophilia make people irredeemably bad
"Life Sucks" Section:
1. Do you have any allergies?
Really minor stuff like grass and cloth bandaids, nothing that could possibly require an epipen
2. Permanent injuries/scars?
A scar under my right eye, two on my scalp, one on my right wrist, one on my left upper thigh, my bellybutton is technically a scar, and one that I made on my left shoulder
Favourites Section.
1. Color?
I don't particularly like pink or yellow but beyond that it's hard to tell
2. Style of music?
I don't listen to enough new music to determine a favourite genre
3. Food?
I really like schnitzel, chicken nuggets, and potatoes in most forms
4. Drink?
Apple and Guava juice
5. Outfit?
I like my tight red pants, black ankle boots, and a singlet under one of my many blue slightly-oversized jumpers. Comfy stuff.
6. Animal?
Please ... don't make me choose ...
7. Plant?
Please ... don't make me choose ...
8. Book?
I cannot choose
9. Movie?
I have no idea
10. Song?
Please ... I'm not a normal person ... I don't know who I am ...
11. Album?
We've been through this I don't know myself as a person well enough for this
12. Band/musical artist?
I DON'T KNOW
13. Actor/actress?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
14. Hobby?
Wikiwalking and being a capricious god toying with the lives of my sims
15. School subject?
English (lit)
16. Sport?
the only proper sport I'm even decent at is tennis
17. TV show?
WHO AM I??
18. Pass-time?
Wikiwalking and being a capricious god toying with the lives of my sims
19. Candy?
I have too much of a sweet tooth to choose
20. Pizza toppings?
I HATE PIZZA!! I HATE PIZZA
21. Dessert?
Again with the sweet tooth
22. Fruit?
seedless grapes
23. Type of pie/cake?
I hate pie but most cakes are GOOD
24. Flavour of ice cream?
Mint choc chip
25. Weather?
Rains bring life
26. Time of day?
not to be emo but night
27. Word?
Currently? "Vile"
29. Sound?
I ... I hadn't really thought about it
Personal Opinion Section.
1. Opinion of your appearance.
I look visibly tired, unusually pale, I'm covered in pimples and sores I get from picking at said pimples, I'm hairy, and I'm no longer stick-thin. Disgusting. On anyone else it'd look good, but my brain refuses to allow me a positive self-image.
2. Opinion of your personality.
OBNOXIOUS. Self-absorbed, long-winded, awkward, condescending, too polite/formal, depressing, whiny. My only """positive""" personality trait is my willingness to listen and understand.
3. Opinion of your family.
Apart from my sister they're decent enough
4. Opinion of your friends.
I don't even know what love is really but I love all of you
5. Opinion on religion
the Westboro Baptist Church can go to hell. Religion as a concept tends to cause problems, but I have no issues with individuals of faith because of their faith.
6. Opinion on homosexuality.
IT'S GOOD
7. Opinion of school/work.
I'm too lazy/nonfunctional for those to be anything but major stressors to me at this point
8. Opinion of modern society.
Not nearly as bad as it used to be, but we still have a lot of deep-rooted issues to work through
What was the last…
1. Movie you saw?
I don't recall
2. Book you read?
I'm currently reading Christine
3. TV show you watched?
Horrible Histories
4. Thing you ate?
raw carrot
5. Thing you drank?
Water to take with meds
6. Piece of art/literature/poetry you did?
I'll upload it in a sec I forgot to post it here after tumblr whoops
7. Person you kissed.
I invited a dog here just to be sure. It's Milani
8. Person you texted/Instant messaged/emailed?
becpal
9. Time you exercised?
Getting out of bed in the morning counts, right?
10. Dream you had?
like big bulky lines
It's taken enough lives as it is ... if you maso assholes want to inflict this upon yourself then go ahead, but be aware that I did edit this down to remove some bad questions
Some questions that are bothersome have been removed.
1. First thing's first. What's your name?
Zin! If you think you know another name you're probably wrong.
2. How about your age?
Started to get a lil uncomfy about this but if that concerns you, send a note
3. Gender?
there isn't one that applies well enough
4. Birthday?
January the 19th
5. Height?
When last checked it was just over 1.6m
6. Weight?
61.8kg
7. Zodiac sign?
Capricorn, not that that even means anything
8. Birthstone?
Garnet
:bademoticon: :bademoticon: 9. Heritage?
Honestly there's too much and tiredness is overwhelming.
Personal qualitative section.
1. Eye colour?
Dark brown
2. Hair colour/style. Is it your natural hair?
Dark brown straight hair in a badly-kept asymmetrical bob-type cut. It is natural and it will stay natural.
3. Current fitness?
Not great since the depression kicked in
4. Skin tone?
Olive-y. Paler now, in the winter.
"Romance" Section.
1. What's your sexuality?
Pansexual, aromantic and (although it's not exactly an orientation) polyamorous
2. Current relationship status?
Single, unfortunately
3. How many relationships have you been in? And could you give a brief description of them?
Only one ever, and it was. Bad.
4. What is your favourite feature of your preferred gender?
no idea
5. If you aren't in a relationship then do you have a crush on someone?
like,,, at least 3 people. I tend to get crushes on mates my age or a little older frequently, which is part of the reason flirtation is a part of my humour even with friends I'm not interested in.
Seven Deadly Sins Section.
1. Would you be considered a glutton?
Hell no
2. A sloth?
Mental illness so yeah I would be
3. Lustful?
Never acted on it, but I mean, kind of?
4. Envious?
Nope
5. Wrathful?
naahhhh
6. Greedy?
HELL NO
7. Prideful?
HELL NO
Education Section.
1. Are you still in school?
I'm still fulfilling education requirements but I don't physically go to school at this point
2. Your best subject in school?
English (lit)
3. Worst subject in school?
Sports. I never was good at sports and my guess is that I never will be particularly good at it.
4. Did you drop out of school?
...Kinda.
Family Section.
1. Describe your relationship with your parents.
Well mum is supportive and we have similar interests.
Dad is nice and we work better in conversations typically, but I don't see him much because his wife makes me paranoid and the living space he occupies is not ideal for me.
2. Relationship with your siblings?
I hate my younger sister. She is incredibly obnoxious and I only work with her when I have something to gain from it. She is verbally and physically abusive.
I love my little bro, though. We mesh better and have more similar interests, but he's not very mindful of the disrespect to minorities. I don't see him much because he lives with my dad.
3. With your family in general?
It's not bad, and I do love them I guess I'm just not good at doing what's expected.
Life Section.
1. Do you have a lot of friends?
NOPE. I have one best friend,
(idk if they consider me theirs tho) and two decently close friends. Only one irl.2. Would you consider yourself a loner?
Crowds make me nervous, so I prefer to be with one or two people if any, so yeah I guess so.
3. Describe your style of clothing.
Comfy and basic, but not unfashionable
1. Do you have a religion?
Nope
2. Do you believe in God or a form of intelligent design?
Well there's a good chance this whole thing is a simulation but apart from that no
3. Do people need to live by morals or just live to have fun?
We're a social species and morals benefit the group far better than hedonism. You can have more than enough fun ethically and morally. Don't mess people up on purpose, respect privacy, respect ownership (if applicable), kill all rapists and pedophiles.
4. Briefly describe your most important beliefs/moral standards.
Help who you can, lift up instead of bring down, respect others, sexual assault and pedophilia make people irredeemably bad
"Life Sucks" Section:
1. Do you have any allergies?
Really minor stuff like grass and cloth bandaids, nothing that could possibly require an epipen
2. Permanent injuries/scars?
A scar under my right eye, two on my scalp, one on my right wrist, one on my left upper thigh, my bellybutton is technically a scar, and one that I made on my left shoulder
Favourites Section.
1. Color?
I don't particularly like pink or yellow but beyond that it's hard to tell
2. Style of music?
I don't listen to enough new music to determine a favourite genre
3. Food?
I really like schnitzel, chicken nuggets, and potatoes in most forms
4. Drink?
Apple and Guava juice
5. Outfit?
I like my tight red pants, black ankle boots, and a singlet under one of my many blue slightly-oversized jumpers. Comfy stuff.
6. Animal?
Please ... don't make me choose ...
7. Plant?
Please ... don't make me choose ...
8. Book?
I cannot choose
9. Movie?
I have no idea
10. Song?
Please ... I'm not a normal person ... I don't know who I am ...
11. Album?
We've been through this I don't know myself as a person well enough for this
12. Band/musical artist?
I DON'T KNOW
13. Actor/actress?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
14. Hobby?
Wikiwalking and being a capricious god toying with the lives of my sims
15. School subject?
English (lit)
16. Sport?
the only proper sport I'm even decent at is tennis
17. TV show?
WHO AM I??
18. Pass-time?
Wikiwalking and being a capricious god toying with the lives of my sims
19. Candy?
I have too much of a sweet tooth to choose
20. Pizza toppings?
I HATE PIZZA!! I HATE PIZZA
21. Dessert?
Again with the sweet tooth
22. Fruit?
seedless grapes
23. Type of pie/cake?
I hate pie but most cakes are GOOD
24. Flavour of ice cream?
Mint choc chip
25. Weather?
Rains bring life
26. Time of day?
not to be emo but night
27. Word?
Currently? "Vile"
29. Sound?
I ... I hadn't really thought about it
Personal Opinion Section.
1. Opinion of your appearance.
I look visibly tired, unusually pale, I'm covered in pimples and sores I get from picking at said pimples, I'm hairy, and I'm no longer stick-thin. Disgusting. On anyone else it'd look good, but my brain refuses to allow me a positive self-image.
2. Opinion of your personality.
OBNOXIOUS. Self-absorbed, long-winded, awkward, condescending, too polite/formal, depressing, whiny. My only """positive""" personality trait is my willingness to listen and understand.
3. Opinion of your family.
Apart from my sister they're decent enough
4. Opinion of your friends.
I don't even know what love is really but I love all of you
5. Opinion on religion
the Westboro Baptist Church can go to hell. Religion as a concept tends to cause problems, but I have no issues with individuals of faith because of their faith.
6. Opinion on homosexuality.
IT'S GOOD
7. Opinion of school/work.
I'm too lazy/nonfunctional for those to be anything but major stressors to me at this point
8. Opinion of modern society.
Not nearly as bad as it used to be, but we still have a lot of deep-rooted issues to work through
What was the last…
1. Movie you saw?
I don't recall
2. Book you read?
I'm currently reading Christine
3. TV show you watched?
Horrible Histories
4. Thing you ate?
raw carrot
5. Thing you drank?
Water to take with meds
6. Piece of art/literature/poetry you did?
I'll upload it in a sec I forgot to post it here after tumblr whoops
7. Person you kissed.
I invited a dog here just to be sure. It's Milani
8. Person you texted/Instant messaged/emailed?
becpal
9. Time you exercised?
Getting out of bed in the morning counts, right?
10. Dream you had?
there was a god
and a god's servant
and I was kind of in control of them?
I could skip through time
right and the god had weird patterns
and the servant was gaunt and pale and I jumped very far ahead in time fully expecting them to be dead
but they weren't?
they sat there cross-legged covered in scars
at the end of time
and so I jumped back
I was sent on reconnaissance and I searched about the nearby town
switching between cameras and then moving freely from there
I was reminded very much of the sims
especially when I uncovered a weird flood in an underground bathroom?
There were 4 people in the stalls including one ghost
And I was called back
and a team of the hillfolk and I helped the god ascend and reach more potential
And their power extended over the world and into the heavens
they performed many great feats
but there was at least one place they couldn't reach
the floating scourge-pyramid
upon it dwelt hordes of undead knights and a tyrant king who threatened to ruin us all
having been instrumental in the god's ascension I was given a blade and granted authority over a battalion for the raid on the floating scourge-pyramid
god assisted from afar, throwing boulders at our request to destroy structures as we mowed down the death knights
I was in the fray, the melee and I watched my soldiers fight and be cut down, advance and retreat
we progressed through the levels and eventually came to the monarch
described as a king earlier, they were neither king nor queen
massive frame coated in decayed flesh, practical clothes were draped over the bones loosely
a ghoul-monarch, tall and wide and unforgiving
they watched our approach from the tall throne atop the pyramid
we called upon god to throw boulders but none would land on the tyrant and they gave a speech
I don't remember much of the speech now but it was (more or less nonsensical) paradox plot stuff
12. Animal you saw?
Milani
13. Time you cried?
Probably a few days ago but I'm not good with time
14. Time you laughed?
A couple of hours ago
15. Time you were furious?
When the becbuddy was talking about the trauma stuff and I wanted to punch the person responsible really really hard
Final Section
1. Did you like this meme?
Kinda?
2. Would you do others that are similar?
I guess so
3. Are you glad this meme is over?
yes, I was dissociating all through the first half hence the desperate avoidance of personal pronouns you may have noticed
4. Now who are you going to choose as the meme's next victims? (Tag people if you like, not required.)
the boulders rained down on where the monarch was but none would hit them
they chipped at the throne, killed a teddy bear, fell before my battalion but they would not be hit
they could not die by god's hand
they could not let us live
they slid down from their elevated position and faced us all
it was a long, hard battle, and many of my good soldiers were wounded fatally
we succeeded, eventually
the ghoul-monarch's corpse lay at our feet and we were exhausted
and then I fell off the floating pyramid
it was sickening and free to fall for so long even with god's winds slowing my descent
I had an injury on my leg from the fight, so soft though the landing was it was painful
I was in the bush on a hiking trail of some sort
I limped along the trail along for a while
it was not scary or lonely it was wonderful
I met a couple on the trail
very vague people
I was scared of them but they were friendly enough
we walked together and god gave us the power to see secret rooms and things
we entered one such room ,and on the far side there was like
you know those party-favour things you blow into and they make noise?
one of those
and I blew into it and the dream ended
11. Thing you favourited on deviantART?
12. Animal you saw?
Milani
13. Time you cried?
Probably a few days ago but I'm not good with time
14. Time you laughed?
A couple of hours ago
15. Time you were furious?
When the becbuddy was talking about the trauma stuff and I wanted to punch the person responsible really really hard
Final Section
1. Did you like this meme?
Kinda?
2. Would you do others that are similar?
I guess so
3. Are you glad this meme is over?
yes, I was dissociating all through the first half hence the desperate avoidance of personal pronouns you may have noticed
4. Now who are you going to choose as the meme's next victims? (Tag people if you like, not required.)
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Sorry lmao
1 min read
I had a tantrum and deleted a bunch of art a little while ago. I've got the pieces saved to my computer, so I can probably put them back, but ... idk. I'm on here less and less anyway, you should probably follow my tumblr instead if you can. Sometimes I post art there.
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Taggerino
3 min read
Fuck.
Here goes.
1. Describe your desk in your bedroom. What's on it? What's under it?
I don't have a desk in my bedroom.
2. Describe what you're wearing right now. Do you like it? If not, what do you wish you were wearing?
I wearing a onesie that's either a polar bear or a sheep. Also I have a singlet underneath it and some fuzzy blue socks. It's warm, so it's good. I have no real reason to wish to wear anything else.
3. What's one fine arts skill you wish you could master?
I wish I could write goddamnit.
4. Describe the most delicious meal you can think of.
I'm not really a foodie, so probably schnitzel and mash.
5. Close your eyes and imagine yourself standing in the greatest place in the world. What are you surrounded by? Who's with you?
I honestly don't think I know where the greatest place in the world would be.
6. Describe your fantasy soulmate. Do you have a racial preference? How would you meet him/her?
"Racial preference" is bullshit. Look at me mate, I don't give a shit. Racial preference my ass. Also him/her? The cis are at it again. Look, fucko, just use singular they like you normally would, like they teach you in English class. Jesus.
I'd probably meet them online tbh because I don't go anywhere else. I don't even think I'd have one soulmate, that whole idea is rubbish. Fantasy partners maybe. I'd like partners who live close enough that physical contact is plausible. I'm genderqueer, so them liking me at all would make them queer. Also it'd be nice if we shared some views on things and they don't do drugs. I'm poly, by the way. Multiple relationships, all knowing about each other and ok with the setup.
In summary, this whole question is bullshit.
7. Describe yourself in three words.
Queer, lazy, "intelligent".
8. If you could have a tea party with any five to fifteen people on this site, who would they be?
, 
, probably others but I really cannot be bothered sorry.
9. Who are some of your greatest role models?
I don't have role models. I base my behaviour on myself and my surroundings.
10. Who are some of your favorite characters?
That's getting a lot harder to pin down, especially because I don't tend to obsess over anything, and now that my depression is severe I can't tell if I like something because of what it is, or if I like it as a distraction. Fun.
Tag yourselves if you want. Feel free to just skip question 6.
I was tagged by
btw
Here goes.
1. Describe your desk in your bedroom. What's on it? What's under it?
I don't have a desk in my bedroom.
2. Describe what you're wearing right now. Do you like it? If not, what do you wish you were wearing?
I wearing a onesie that's either a polar bear or a sheep. Also I have a singlet underneath it and some fuzzy blue socks. It's warm, so it's good. I have no real reason to wish to wear anything else.
3. What's one fine arts skill you wish you could master?
I wish I could write goddamnit.
4. Describe the most delicious meal you can think of.
I'm not really a foodie, so probably schnitzel and mash.
5. Close your eyes and imagine yourself standing in the greatest place in the world. What are you surrounded by? Who's with you?
I honestly don't think I know where the greatest place in the world would be.
6. Describe your fantasy soulmate. Do you have a racial preference? How would you meet him/her?
"Racial preference" is bullshit. Look at me mate, I don't give a shit. Racial preference my ass. Also him/her? The cis are at it again. Look, fucko, just use singular they like you normally would, like they teach you in English class. Jesus.
I'd probably meet them online tbh because I don't go anywhere else. I don't even think I'd have one soulmate, that whole idea is rubbish. Fantasy partners maybe. I'd like partners who live close enough that physical contact is plausible. I'm genderqueer, so them liking me at all would make them queer. Also it'd be nice if we shared some views on things and they don't do drugs. I'm poly, by the way. Multiple relationships, all knowing about each other and ok with the setup.
In summary, this whole question is bullshit.
7. Describe yourself in three words.
Queer, lazy, "intelligent".
8. If you could have a tea party with any five to fifteen people on this site, who would they be?
, , probably others but I really cannot be bothered sorry.9. Who are some of your greatest role models?
I don't have role models. I base my behaviour on myself and my surroundings.
10. Who are some of your favorite characters?
That's getting a lot harder to pin down, especially because I don't tend to obsess over anything, and now that my depression is severe I can't tell if I like something because of what it is, or if I like it as a distraction. Fun.
Tag yourselves if you want. Feel free to just skip question 6.
I was tagged by
btw
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READING STREAM!
1 min read
STREAMING OVER, and I'm going to read some short stories. The books containing these are:
Once a few people are in attendance we'll have a vote! I'll be streaming for several hours, maybe even all day if it goes well, so don't worry if you're late!
I hope to see you there!
- Poems to Read to Young Australians
- The Complete Illustrated Stories of Hans Christian Anderson
- Stories Not for the Nervous Part One
- The Children’s Golden Treasure Book
- The Children’s Treasury of Literature in Colour
- The Complete Illustrated Stories of the Brothers Grimm
- The Dragon Book
- Also I might read creepypastas and nosleep stories, so if you have any favourites among those then link them to me and I'll give it a shot!
Once a few people are in attendance we'll have a vote! I'll be streaming for several hours, maybe even all day if it goes well, so don't worry if you're late!
I hope to see you there!
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